Introduction and 6 Tips for Unbreakable Confidence

Hey everyone,

This is my first post here so I figured that I would introduce myself! 🐸🤢

My name is Natalie, and I'm a Junior in high school trying to make the most of their remaining one and a half years left there.  Through this blog, I hope to give shyer highschoolers the confidence to step out of their comfort zones. I'm an extremely engaged member of the school and wider community right now, and I hope that it stays that way! During elementary school I was always considered a "smart" kid- however, I never had the social skills and confidence to show other aspects of myself to other people. After moving to a new school with a totally different environment from my previous one, I became absolutely lost. I realized that because I had never "needed" to make friends I had no idea how to do so. I was absolutely petrified and a downright loser. Looking back I realize that there were so many opportunities that I missed out on but I'm trying extra hard to make up for it now.  

Thankfully, I managed to turn my life around and get myself back on track! I'm currently the president of two (2) clubs in my school, one of which is deeply rooted in public speaking. I'm also engaged with sports, something that I could have never envisioned happening. I write for multiple different newsletters, and I've had extensive volunteer and work experience as a camp counsellor. Furthermore, I've been lucky enough to work in a nursing home and participate in Co-Op! Younger me could have never pictured me in such positions, but I'm glad that I pushed past my fears and made it to this point. To anyone else who may be struggling with shyness, I hope that I can lend a helping hand to you.

Scroll down to learn about some of the tips that I used during my journey to become self-confident!

Here are some tips that helped me along my way when putting myself out there:

1) Think long-term, not short-term.

Yes, you might feel extraordinarily embarrassed after speaking up, but there's no way around it. Practice makes perfect, this pain is not permanent. Think about the situation in the long-term, would you rather feel stuck in this moment for an hour or keep having these events happen to you for the rest of your life? You will have to socialize with others for the rest of your life, whether that involves speaking to a cashier or talking to your potential employer. Keep at it, it only gets better. Even if it doesn't seem to be working, at least you can give yourself credit for trying.

2) Put everything in perspective.

You are just one person in a world of 8 billion. You are not important enough for the 4 people you had an awkward conversation with to analyze it and replay it in their heads for the next half an hour. They do not care, they will move on. And what if they do care? That's extremely unlikely, they should get a hobby. Maybe they're just as stuck as you are and worried about their own performance! Don't sweat it- even if someone really is thinking about how lame you are, recognize that they won't ever tell that to your face. Or, maybe they will! However, recognize that you wouldn't want those kinds of people in your life anyway- it's good that they also don't want you in theirs.

3) Do volunteer work.

Yes, put yourself out there. When you're doing volunteer work it's very easy to not think of yourself, because you're so busy attending to the needs of others. When you do work that you can feel proud of it's an amazing feeling, and it really makes you realize that you do in fact you have skills that you can bring to the table. The definition of a volunteer is "A person that actively takes on a task, responsibility, or project on his or her own accord without needing to be assigned, ordered, or told to do so". When you volunteer you are doing being thoughtful and caring of your own free will, and people appreciate you for that! This means that people will want to hear what you say because they believe that you have value and worth. That's right, people will want to hear what you say- so don't worry about being annoying! Apply this lesson to situations outside of a kindergarten classroom and realize that people, in general, can be receptive listeners as well. Speak up!

4) Remember that "No pain, no gain".

That's self-explanatory! This point ties back to the first, remember to think about the long term benefits you're reaping!  

5) It's better late than never.

Start putting yourself out there now, your story does not have to end here! The saying "You only get out of life what you make of it" might sound corny, but it's true. Try, try, try, and try again. The fact that you're reading this post is already a good sign! You recognize that you have to change, and you're willing to take the first step. Don't wait for the "perfect timing", it'll never come. Don't wait for someone else to prompt you, take control of your own life. People may be able to help you, but the only one who truly has control of your own life is well...you.  

6) Try and develop a good support system.

This is something that I didn't really have when I was breaking out of my shell, but I would encourage you to speak to your parents/guardians if that is possible. Let them know that you are embarking on this journey, and let them know that you would appreciate it if they helped to push you. Knowing that there are people who will not give up on you even if you feeling like stopping can be absolutely critical. However, it's not to say that it's absolutely necessary. Once again, you should be your main source of motivation- from time to time though, you might need a little push.

I hope that you will apply these 6 tips to help you develop confidence! 

Take care,

Natalie